Archive for July, 2008
No. 5: Giles Coren
Thursday, July 31st, 2008GC and GB: two douchebags with a massively over-inflated sense of their own merits who are prone to tantrums and bullying of subordinates. And then those self-same subordinates enjoy a modicum of revenge by leaking evidence of that utter douchebaggery to the press.
Coren, though, is a moderately talented writer who can narrow down to four [...]
No. 4: Dead Men Walking
Monday, July 21st, 2008Rather like Hamid Karzai and Nouri al-Maliki.
They may be in charge of two of the world’s most unstable and dangerous places on earth; and they may be high on the “most likely to be assassinated” list. But they don’t give off the voter-scaring bad vibes that aspiring commander in chief Barack Obama detects in Brown. [...]
No. 3: Betamax
Sunday, July 20th, 2008Some said it was the future, but in reality it had already been supplanted. Nor did its backers pull the plug until the alternative was inevitable. No, we’re not talking about Gordon Brown but the Betamax video format:
Unlike Gordon Brown, though, the Betamax still has a vibrant fan club. Certainly, no-one would get so steamed [...]
No. 2: Haemorrhoids
Saturday, July 19th, 2008PHARMACIST: Good morning, sir.
YOU: Ah, pharmacist. I don’t quite know how to say this, but…
PHARMACIST: You feel like someone’s jammed a splintered plank up your ringpiece?
YOU: Good heavens, how on earth did you know?
PHARMACIST: You’re wearing a dustman’s uniform. It’s clear to me that you are just another low-earning individual who has been viciously shafted [...]
No. 1: The Deep Fried Mars Bar
Saturday, July 19th, 2008A quintessentially Scottish product that attracts derision and revulsion in equal measure. And yet, unlike the Prime Minister, the deep-fried Mars bar is also regarded with affection. Both have the power to arrest vital organs, but whilst the chocolate-and-batter treat has the same volcanic heart that beats in every devil-may-care [...]